By Angela Uebelacker
When I think back to before I had children, I’m reminded of how I hoped it would always be. My child would have the best life, we’d always be on an adventure, we’d always play and have so much fun, and never be tired of this world we created for our little loves. Life would ALWAYS be something we would look forward too; we would always be on time, present, and ready to play ALL DAY!!! It never occurred to me how much would actually be true, what details would actually change, and even as the years go by how often I’m reminded of how I hoped it would be.
My child from the age of 6 months old has experienced so many changes…changes she has never once asked for, but very bravely endured! There have been two deployments, and three moves in her 5 years of life. She has lived in a hotel, traveled across the states, and traveled internationally. She has fallen in love with family, friends, neighbors, daycares, and pre-school teachers all to be pulled away when our lives took on a different journey. She has questioned these changes, feared being forgotten and most importantly feared being left behind the entire time!
As parents, there is no such blueprint on life, let alone on how to be the best parents we can possibly be. There is no truth to what we hoped it would be like, simply because we’re not meant to know our true journey…We get tired, we have schedules, routines, work, school, extracurricular activities…and somewhere in between what we do to make “our lives” better we have the time for how we hoped it would be.
It’s simply not that simple…the love and pride I have for my husband’s service and the community we belong to continues to grow with each passing day. I chose this life, not knowing the depths of how much would change, but fully accepting the reason behind it! Every new experience no matter how frustrating, no matter how many new interviews, friends, neighbors or finding our way around unfamiliar territories, I’m so forever grateful and proud of the choices we have made…And one day, my hope is that she will be too! But until then, I would like her to know…
From the Rearview Mirror…
From the rearview mirror, Mommy has watched you grow into a brave, smart, adventurous little girl. I have feared every change you have had to endure. My heart has broken with every single goodbye, and I have even forgotten how to breathe with every tear! Through all of these changes, you have continued to make me so proud. You have inspired me to be a stronger, BRAVER, person and one that I hope you can be proud of too.
From the rearview mirror, I have watched your curiosity, frustration, and even felt you worry…I see your sad eyes, I see your tears, and understand your fears!! I’ve watched you wave goodbye, race my car until the fence ends, and watch which direction I turn. And with each passing day, I’ve missed you!! There is nothing more that I would rather be doing, but spending all my time with you…and when Daddy is “away” for work, I have captured every moment I could. Cheered on all your first milestones, and made myself available for every ‘pre-school’ party and event so you always had someone present.
From the rearview mirror…I have seen your excitement, I have seen you smile, and felt your laughter!! My job is just a job, my continued education a dream, and no matter how busy life gets my hope has always been the same. One day you will understand the choices that I’ve made, you’ll appreciate the changes, and look forward to what lies ahead. And no matter where we go I hope you always know how I hoped it would always be, and that with each passing day I continue to strive to make it all be true.
From the rearview mirror, I did it all for you!
Written by Angela Uebelacker